Johan

Relationship Fear

There are couples who remain together out of fear. They fear being alone, they fear what it might mean to lose their loved one. They fear having to survive financially without a partner or they fear leaving because their partner has threatened them in some way.

Fear is simply a sense of dread about the unknown, fueled by the imagination giving you all sorts of worst-case-scenario images about what might go wrong.

If you’re in your relationship because you’re afraid to be alone, then this should be a signal to you that your relationship isn’t right for you, but you aren’t ready to move on as an independent adult.

However, if your fear is based on a more serious psychological issue, such as physical or emotional abuse, then things are a little different.

There are people who remain in relationships because they fear what their partner would do to them if they left. Their partner may have threatened to commit suicide if they leave, or they may have threatened to hunt them down and hurt them if they leave.

Each of these kinds of threats falls under the Emotional Blackmail category and is damaging the trust, respect and future of the relationship.

Mending the Rift

Understand the reasons why you’re afraid of your partner or fearful of leaving and then look closely at the reasons why you’re staying.

If you truly love that person and you know the relationship is perfect for you, then you will need to sort through your fear and anxiety to uncover the root of the problem.

However, if your partner is abusive or threatening or has anger management issues, ask yourself seriously what kind of person shows love this way. Is this the type of love you want to receive? If you fear someone so much that you’re afraid to leave, then you should question whether love is really a part of your relationship at all.

A strong, healthy relationship involves love, trust and respect for and from each of you. These feelings can only survive when there is no fear of your partner or of what your partner might do.

Communication and honesty about your feelings can be a good step towards mending some of the fear-issues, but only you can know if the relationship is worth saving in these circumstances.

Self-Help Tips for Dealing with Anxiety

Everybody experiences anxiety from time to time in their life. You can’t always just breathe through an anxiety attack either. Anxiety attacks people in different ways. Some have trouble breathing, their heart races, with flushed skin and chest pain. If you have frequent anxiety attacks, try these self-help tips for dealing with them.

1. Exaggerate your biggest fear – Talk to a friend about your biggest fear, whether it be giving a presentation to your class or riding a roller coaster. Make it as dramatic as possible with lots of descriptive words and plenty of your raw emotions. Then when it comes time for you to do that thing that scares you, it won’t be as horrifying because you’ve already ruled out all the possible horrible things that can happen to you. After talking to your friend about this a couple times, your stories and exaggerations will start to become very silly and something you can laugh about together.

2. Distract yourself – In your scary situation, just don’t think about where you are or what you’re doing. Seems easier said than done, but with practice it ‘ll almost be like you aren’t even in the situation that causes your anxiety.

3. Exercise – Stress and anxiety both release the same hormone: adrenaline. When you exercise, you are releasing this hormone, making your anxiety levels go down.

4. Do not consume too much caffeine or alcohol. Both are stimulants and will only make your anxiety worse. Instead, turn to drinks like milk and water. Some general foods that are good to bring down your anxiety levels include nuts, berries, yogurts, legumes, and dark orange vegetables.

5. Meditate – Calm yourself down and simply focus on your breathing; nothing else. Tune out everything going on around you and count each breath you take.

6. Break down the days into minutes. Instead of stressing yourself out about what you’re going to do in the next three hours, focus on the seconds and minutes you are living in right now. This will help to eliminate some worries and anxiety you may have for a certain part of your day.

7. Use visual anchors. If you feel yourself getting anxious, find something that brings a sense of calm to you and just focus on it. For example, if you find yourself stuck in traffic, you can look up at the clouds to help you feel calm.

8. Repeat a mantra. Simply repeat over and over in your head a phrase that brings calmness and peace within yourself. A sample phrase would be, I am enough or I can do this. Building yourself up is often a technique people use to relieve some of their anxiety.

9. Write a love letter to yourself. This is just like what you’d do if you were repeating a mantra. Write down on a piece of paper all of the things you love about yourself. Then when you’re having an anxiety attack, read the letter. This, once again, will help relieve some anxiety.

You aren’t alone in this world. Millions of people suffer from anxiety. These tips given may not all work for you and that’s okay. There are other tips out there for you to try, as well as doctors and other professionals to talk to.